DreamWorld
by phoenixyfriend
Summary: When Zoro sleeps, he travels far beyond the danger that is the Grand Line. Of course, he's only met one person on the other side of that barrier, but that will change soon enough. Soon enough...
1. The Traveller

Sasuke was six. Only six years old when he'd met one of the most dangerous people he would ever meet, and he didn't even realize it.

He'd been walking through the forest to try and find the training grounds his brother went to sometimes, and he'd found the man. Sasuke had been scared at first, even though the man was sleeping, but gotten up the courage to come closer and poke the man. Of course, being six, curiosity was what helped him call up the courage in the first place. Why?

The man had green hair.

Sasuke had only ever seen one person with hair that weird, a girl his age with pink hair, which he'd never seen anywhere else. She had been crying a few times when he'd seen her at the park, because other kids had been picking on her, but he couldn't help her even though he'd wanted to; he had been on his way to train with Itachi, and the girl came from a civilian family, so talking to her would be weird anyway. There were some women he'd seen before with purple hair, and he and some other Uchiha looked like they had a bluish tint, and there was that one ANBU he'd seen that had silver hair, even though his parents told him that the man barely twenty years old by then. Wait… what was Sasuke thinking about, again…?

Oh yeah! The man had green hair! And Sasuke had never seen _anyone_ with green hair before! So he walked over and waited to see if the man would wake up soon. After about fifteen minutes, he grew bored and decided to try throwing shuriken at the weird tree with the gnarled branches until the man with three swords woke up.

So he did just that.

o.o.o.o.o

Zoro cracked open an eye. The world had a certain hazy quality to it, as if he was in a dream. Considering he was no longer on that tiny rowboat with the random boy, Luffy, that he'd been blackmailed into working for, a dream was a likely occurrence. He must have fallen asleep while meditating again.

Except for that this didn't feel like _that_ kind of sleep. Zoro slept a lot, so when he slept in a certain way, he knew what it would feel like. If he fell asleep while meditating, he didn't dream, and he was still somewhat aware of the outside world. If he fell asleep outright, he sometimes dreamt and still had some semblance of alertness about him. Right now, it almost felt as if his mind was split in two: half of it was following the normal patterns for when he fell asleep and keeping track of any possible attacks, while the other half was here, wherever _here_ was.

There was a kid a few meters away from him, throwing… something at a gnarled old tree that looked kind of like an upside-down octopus on a pole. The kid couldn't have been older than seven or eight, though he was definitely at least five. His hair looked like a duck's butt.

Heh. The kid wasn't half-bad, at least not for his age. He may not have been getting bulls-eyes, but he was hitting the target at least half the time from a considerable distance. Still…

"Move you left foot out a bit." Zoro called out. The kid froze and spun around; he grinned.

"You're awake!" The kid said excitedly.

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I am. What of it?"

The kid come closer, and a curious and serious look crossed his face. "Can I ask you something?"

Zoro felt an urge to laugh at the kid's expression, but quashed it. "Sure."

"Is your hair _really_ green or is it just dye?" the kid's face was pinched.

Zoro snorted. "Is that all? Yeah, my hair is naturally green. Here's a hint: check the color of peoples' eyebrows to see if their hair is natural." He normally would have gutted any person that asked about his hair, but this was a little kid.

"Oh. Okay. What about the swords?"

"What about them?"

"Why are there three?" The kid pointed at the swords in question.

"I practice a style that takes three swords, called Santoryu." Zoro told him.

"Oh." The kid frowned. "Why are you sleeping out here?"

"So many questions." Zoro rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I'm here, because it definitely isn't where I fell asleep."

The kid just nodded, before sticking his hand out for a handshake self-importantly. "Uchiha Sasuke."

Zoro quirked an eyebrow, before shaking the little kid's hand with an amused smirk on his face. "Roronoa Zoro."

o.o.o.o.o

From then on, that particular training ground became Sasuke's favorite. After the two had introduced themselves, Zoro had explained where he came from and how he was here in a dream. Sasuke decided that the man's mind was travelling through dimensions in his sleep. This was, completely by accident, a very accurate assumption. Zoro would find himself in that clearing whenever he fell asleep, so Sasuke kept visiting that particular training ground whenever Itachi couldn't train him in hopes that it was during one of Zoro's naps. After all, Zoro told some of the most interesting stories Sasuke had ever heard, and he claimed that they were _true!_

After Sasuke mentioned once that three months had passed since they'd met, they tracked the time on their own, and found that time passed far more slowly in Zoro's world than with Sasuke. When four and a half months had passed with Sasuke, only three weeks (and a single new crewmember) had passed for Zoro. This meant that something that happened often for Zoro, like his frequent wounds, was rare for Sasuke. This, of course, lead to Sasuke panicking whenever Zoro ended up in the clearing covered in blood. Zoro just wrote it off and told him not to worry, because it happened a lot. Sasuke continued to worry quietly anyways, especially if he thought that Zoro was unconscious in both worlds. Being awake in Sasuke's world meant REM for Zoro. Being asleep in both meant deep sleep. Being hazily conscious meant he was unconscious in his own world. Being unconscious in both, they theorized, meant a coma.

Eventually, Sasuke came to regard the green-haired man as a mentor, telling him things almost as he would to a journal, though not nearly as much as he told Itachi, of course. Zoro was still convinced that this was nothing more than an extended dream that went from one nap to the next, but humored the boy despite that.

It took five and a half months for Zoro to reach Alabasta, and that meant almost two and a half years passed for Sasuke. Less than a week after Zoro left Alabasta, he found himself in the clearing, with a morose Sasuke. He hadn't seen the boy for several days by his own time, which meant at least a few weeks for Sasuke.

"Oi, kid." Zoro called, never referring to Sasuke by name. "What's wrong?"

"Everyone…" Sasuke spoke softly, voice shaking slightly. "Itachi, he…" His voice broke.

"He killed the entire clan except me."

Zoro felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

o.o.o.o.o

A/N: I got this idea while in the shower. I come up with a lot of ideas in the shower. This is one of the few that I actually wrote.

This is going to be fairly short. I was originally going to make it a four part story, with rather short chapters, but I may choose to add a few chapters on top of that. Yes, the Phoenix Corporation is responsible for this, and no, they aren't going to be showing up more than peripherally (AKA- something like Sasuke mentioning that he saw someone weird in town that day).


	2. The Friend

Two weeks for Zoro—still another week or two from being nearly crushed by a ship falling from the sky—and three months for Sasuke, at which point he was finally deemed psychologically healthy enough to go back to the Academy. That's how long it took for Zoro to convince the kid that devoting his entire life to revenge wasn't worth it.

"Find a dream, kid. Find a dream and stick with it. Put everything you are and can be in that dream if you want, but make sure it's a good one."

Sasuke stared at his feet, curling his arms around his knees where he sat next to the swordsman. "Zoro? Can you tell me about your crew's dreams again?"

_They make me feel like there actually is something bigger out there._

"Robin wishes to find the Rio Poneglyph, and learn the True History."

_Uncovering the lies, finding the truth, getting rid of the conspiracies and deception._

"Chopper wants to become the greatest doctor, and find a cure for all diseases."

_To help everyone he can, regardless of whether they want him dead or not._

"Sanji," for once, Zoro eschewed the insulting nicknames, "to find the All Blue, every cook's dream."

_To have a profession, and find something only others like you would understand the beauty of._

"Usopp wants to become a brave warrior of the sea, a great pirate like his father."

_To follow in the footsteps of family you may have never even met, and be greater than them._

"Nami dreams of sailing the world and drawing the first world map of the entire thing."

_A promise since childhood, the desire growing only stronger with age._

"I wish to become the greatest swordsman in the world, defeating Hawk-Eyes Mihawk in a battle to ring in history for centuries."

_A dream of the past, enhanced by the legacy of a friend long gone, and a dream that is the only thing he now has in mind._

"And Luffy… Luffy will become the Pirate King." A statement. Not a dream, but an actual statement, as if it were a fact. There was no doubt in his tone.

_To rule that kind to which you belong, even if you hold nothing but a title._

Sasuke was quiet again, though still staring at the ground. The expression he wore was a bit more relaxed than before, his arms a bit looser around his knees.

_The last one almost sounds like that orange kid that's always talking about being Hokage. Didn't he start at the academy early but get held back or something?_

"Zoro… what makes a person strong?"

Zoro shot him a look, frowning slightly at the question. He always made sure to try and keep Sasuke from thinking about revenge and getting stronger for the sake of it. He turned to stare back out at the clearing, staring past the gnarled old tree. "There are three things that make a person strong: the determination to get stronger no matter what; a goal or dream to reach in strength; and the third is the most important."

"You need to have someone or something to fight for."

Zoro glanced down at Sasuke, watching his expression carefully. "Determination in training is fine enough, but determination in a fight can be the only thing that saves you for another day. Where that determination comes from is even more important.

"If you're willing to survive no matter what the odds, you have to have something to keep you going. If you just want to live on just for the sake of living, it may not be enough. You need something bigger than you."

Zoro turned to glare at him a bit at that. "Something _other_ than revenge. I've seen people live for that before, and it took them over. I'm not going to stop you from killing your brother, but I am going to say that you'll be empty afterwards."

Sasuke frowned, but nodded sullenly anyway.

Zoro turned to look back out at the meadow, eyes focusing to somewhere beyond the octopus tree. "Of course, the thing you really need someone to protect or fight for, or something that is just as poignant. A dream is all well and good, but the third of the things that I mentioned is _always _the most important. A person is always strongest when protecting something or someone dear to them. In the crew, we all have each other. You may not think you have anyone left, but you'll find someone eventually."

Sasuke made a face. "You're not going to tell me that I should get married or something like all those weird girls that follow me around all the time, right?"

Zoro looked at him blankly for a few seconds before sniggering, which soon turned into full-blown laughter. Sasuke inched away from him, frowning. "What's so funny?"

Zoro finally calmed himself down, still snickering a bit. "Nothing, nothing. I haven't laughed like that in a long while."

Sasuke glared. "Why were you laughing?" he demanded.

Zoro snorted. "Maybe I'll tell you in a few years. Or you'll figure it out on your own."

Sasuke folded his arms. "A few years for me or a few years for you?"

"You, kid. Still…" Zoro started chuckling again. "You're only eight and you already have…"

He glanced down at a scowling Sasuke, and snorted, looking back out at the field again. "Anyway, are you sure there's no one that you can be friends with? No one that'll keep your secrets, no matter how bad the skeletons in your closet are? Someone that'll be at your back no matter how much you anger them? Someone that you can trust to keep you together when you're falling apart? Becoming that close would take a few years, but there must be at least someone with potential."

Sasuke pouted stubbornly. "Whatever."

o.o.o.o.o

Contrary to his words, Sasuke actually did keep an eye out to see if there was anyone that he would even get along with. The trouble was that there was absolutely no one that he thought he could get along with. The girls were out of the question entirely, and there were issues with most of the boys. He wouldn't even bother trying to befriend a kid from a civilian family—that was a disaster waiting to happen; he didn't want to shatter another kid's innocence the way his own had been, and it would just be worse with a civilian-born—so that just left the boys from clans, but there were problems there too.

Shikamaru and Chouji were already friends, and he doubted he'd be able to get along with them anyway.

Kiba had a tendency to insult just about everyone around him without even meaning to, and always smelled like the dogs that lived in the Inuzuka kennels. While Sasuke would work with him if necessary once he became a shinobi, Sasuke didn't really think that he'd be able to stand dealing with the smell voluntarily as often as friends hung out.

Aburame Shino—and saying his full name was almost a habit, Sasuke had to admit—was stoic and Sasuke may have been able to get along with him, if it weren't from the bugs. There had been an incident with his cousin Shisui several years ago where the older boys had somehow dropped a glass jar of poisonous spiders in the kitchen while Sasuke's mom was cooking, and it had taken hours to get round them all up. Apparently, he'd been on his way to deliver them from the Aburame to the Nara for some sort of poison or medicine or something. Sasuke had been scared of most bugs since then, and it would be a few years before he would feel comfortable around an Aburame again.

There was one kid that didn't fall under the label of either civilian born or clan kid. Uzumaki Naruto was an orphan who didn't know the identities of his own parents, and was even louder than Kiba. The difference was that if Naruto insulted someone, you could be sure that he was doing it on purpose. Sasuke knew this because he'd often been on the receiving end of one of those insults, usually after lobbing one of his own at the boy first. The kid was one of the worst in the class, but he still insisted that he'd be Hokage one day. The freaky thing, though, was just how much Sasuke was reminded of Zoro's stories of his rather ditzy captain, Luffy. That, and Sasuke saw almost as much pain in Naruto's eyes as he did in his own.

What cinched it, though, was when Naruto followed him, without even getting caught, out to the field only a week later.

o.o.o.o.o

**EDIT: I can't believe that no one called me out on including Brook and Franky, despite this clearly taking place before Skypeia. And here I was, claiming to love One Piece, and I actually forgot that. I'm such a moron. Well, I went back and fixed it anyway.**


	3. The Challenge

**A/N: Keep in mind that Naruto is not only an idiot in canon, but eight-years-old here. I don't want to be accused of Naruto-bashing because of his stupidity.**

o.o.o.o.o

Sasuke stared at the blonde that had followed him into the clearing, who was staring at Zoro in turn. Zoro stared at them both with bored, half-lidded eyes.

"You got a name, kid?"

Naruto's face scrunched up. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm gonna be the next Hokage, dattebayo!"

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"You think I can't do it?" Naruto pointed a finger at Zoro, his every pore oozing aggressiveness.

"Dead last." Sasuke muttered, unheard by the blond.

"Right…" Zoro closed his eyes and shifted against the tree, getting into a more comfortable position. "Wake me up when you can prove it."

"What did you-?!"

"Shut up!" Sasuke hissed and slapped a hand over Naruto's mouth.

The two devolved into a small scuffle, which abruptly ended when Zoro coughed. "Oi."

"Sorry, Zoro." Sasuke bent his head.

"Oi, b******, who is this guy?" Naruto stage-whispered, and Sasuke resisted the urge to facepalm, though he did cringe.

"My name," The swordsman cut in before Sasuke could answer, "is Roronoa Zoro."

Naruto stared at him. "Are you a ninja? I don't see a hitai-ate."

"No. I'm a pirate."

"A pirate!" Naruto shouted. Sasuke was very close to slamming his head into a tree.

"Yes."

A staring contest ensued. Zoro held out longer. Sasuke just buried his head in his hands, despairing of this situation resolving itself in anything approaching a serious manner.

"So why do you have those swords, huh?"

Sasuke let out a disparaging snort. Great. Just great.

o.o.o.o.o

"Lower your stance!" Zoro barked out as he swung a knobby but polished tree branch at Naruto at a fraction of his normal speed. The boy's physical abilities were, quite frankly, pathetic. Most of him was. The only thing that could in any way be considered above average was his stamina, and even that was no real help. Every move the blond made was telegraphed, every dodge, every punch and kick, wasting energy to the point where the energy reserves he did have were exhausted just as fast as anyone else.

Zoro knocked Naruto to the ground by sweeping out the orange-clad leg from underneath him with the tree branch, turning to raise said tree branch to block a fairly weak punch from Sasuke. "You're as loud as an angry sea king."

Sasuke grit his teeth, trying to find a way to get another hit in, even as Naruto charged at Zoro again with a raw yell.

They had done this time and again, and still hadn't managed to lay even the lightest of hits on the green-haired man. Not even ninjutsu worked, or the one genjutsu Sasuke actually knew, the Academy's bunshin. Considering just who Zoro was, it was unsurprising.

That didn't mean that Sasuke wasn't frustrated by five months of irregular training sessions with the man invariably ending with two eight-year-olds face down in the dirt, like he was right now.

"Have you trained at all since I last saw you?" Zoro snorted as he lay the 'training branch' against the octopus tree. Sasuke had learned to hate that branch… staff… thing.

"It's only been a few days." Sasuke ground out, lifting himself up off the ground.

"That's more than enough time to improve." Zoro asserted, arms crossed. "If you want to get stronger, you have to train. Now…"

Sasuke groaned as he saw the large rocks that Zoro was pointing at, ignoring Naruto's shouts that _of course_ he was better than last time!

"Start lifting."

The worst part was that they had _asked_ for him to train them, after that disastrous first meeting between Naruto and Zoro, which had involved Naruto saying that he'd get as strong as Zoro even before he became Hokage, which lead to a discussion on dreams. That lead to Zoro challenging Naruto to follow a training regimen of his own design, which the idiot not only accepted despite the gleam in the marimo's eyes, but challenged Sasuke to follow as well. Seeing as Sasuke was fairly competitive, he, in a moment of true stupidity, said that he'd not only follow the regimen, but do better than Naruto.

Even worse? Zoro did everything they did on an exponentially harder scale, so they couldn't even call him lazy, despite the fact that he sometimes slept during their sessions; in fact, seeing as he worked out even then, it was quite disheartening, especially since he'd only gotten out from the Sky Isles a few days earlier for him, and two or three weeks for them.

"No one should be able to do that!" Naruto often hissed as he saw Zoro lifting dumbbells a hundred times his own weight without even being awake (where they came from, no one quite knew).

On the other side of Konoha, a man in a bowl cut sneezed.

The world would despair on the day that Roronoa Zoro, the Pirate Hunter, met Maito Gai, Konoha's Green Beast.

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: All you get for now. I'm busy with three major fanfics (Fly Free, Gender Confusion, and Akatsuki Kitten: Phoenix Corporation Overhaul), along with a NaNoWriMo novel (Mirrored), several minor fanfics (Impossible, A Child's Fantasy, Nine Demons, Teased (not yet posted, extension of Teaser), Two Moons, Sing For Me (not yet posted, Naruto x Vocaloid, Sasori x SF-A2 Miki)), and various oneshots, as well as one other major story that I'll only start posting once I've written ten full chapters for it (No name yet). Also: school (International Baccalaureate), college applications, martial arts, volunteer work, and my dad's on Long Island, even if he wasn't in one of the major disaster zones of Sandy.**

**Why am I doing all this again?**

**In any case: check out my other stories if you like my sense of humor. You may just be pleasantly surprised.**


	4. The Truth

Naruto frowned down at his test. This was the graduation exam, and no matter how much he studied—and though he refused to admit it, Sasuke actually tried to help a _lot_—he still couldn't remember the written work.

His taijutsu was better than passable; with Zoro's training, he was in fourth place, only behind Kiba (who had claws and fangs and Akamaru on his side), Hinata (who had some sort of weird style where her eyes went all funny and she barely had to tap people), and Sasuke (who was always the best. Obviously. D*** it).

Unfortunately, while his henge was fine—better than fine if Oiroke was anything to go by—his Bunshin was—

Terrible, Sasuke thought, putting his head down on his crossed arms to avoid watching his—grudgingly admitted—best friend friend's face fall as he was told that he'd failed the test.

H***, who made the Bunshin so important anyway? It was almost useless in actual combat, and it was clear that the dobe—whether he deserved that title anymore or not—was failing because he had a near-_ridiculous_ amount of chakra that he had to control.

Several hours later, Sasuke was angrily walking off to the clearing with the octopus tree. Alone.

When Naruto was angry… when Naruto was angry, he lashed out. He'd given Sasuke a glare that felt like it could melt kunai it was so angry, and spoke in a tone that was actually low, maybe even on this side of snide.

Sasuke couldn't really _blame_ him, per se, but it still stung a little, to see Naruto lash out at him like that because of his own inability to perform Bunshin costing him a hitai-ate.

He walked into the meadow, glanced around, and realized that he was alone. He slammed a fist into a tree, and watched in a kind of horrified, disturbed, and suspiciously _emotionless_ fascination as a single drop of blood oozed from one of his now-scraped knuckles.

He would probably get in trouble—in more ways than one, if he had both his Jounin-sensei and his fangirls to worry about—if he actually injured himself too much. A single scrape could be brushed away as an accident, but if he punched the tree again…

He would bleed. It would make him feel better, strange and revulsive as it was.

He would call himself insane. Hurting himself to feel better wasn't normal, and he would _know_ that.

He would be pestered about it by teachers and fans. It would be, to borrow a word from the Nara in his class, troublesome.

…He punched the tree again.

Again, he looked at his knuckles, looked at where the skin had gotten scraped off, looked at where the blood had started to run just the slightest bit more freely, looked at where he could literally see his physical pain.

He wrapped his knuckles in protective bandages, and continued to punch the tree as if it was a normal day's training.

o.o.o.o.o

Zoro yawned as he 'woke' into the strange world that he spent his sleeping hours in. The first thing he noticed was Sasuke, alone, punching a tree repeatedly.

Over and over and over again, to the point where those bandages would likely soon be useless. There was a grimace on his face as he slammed his fist home again and again, and angry scowl at times and a disturbed sneer at others.

There was a sheen of metal on his forehead.

There was no Naruto in the vicinity.

Zoro may have been a bit dim as far as book smarts go, but he was far from stupid. And if the scene in front of him was any indication of what had occurred during the day, then he knew _exactly_ what had happened.

o.o.o.o.o

Zoro frowned at the night sky, long after Sasuke had left, utterly spent of his frustration.

There were noises, people in the area, probably shinobi. This wasn't normal, wasn't right. He'd been sleeping in this world for so long, on and off and on again, and he knew the patterns of the night. This was not one of them.

He tensed as he heard people pass him by, urging himself to shrink, to become invisible. If a shinobi found him, there would be at least one other aiding them, and he doubted he would be able to catch all of them before more were alerted. Then it would just be one large, escalating fight until someone strong enough to take him down came out, or several people that could take him out if they only worked together well enough.

Just remember, he told himself, you can always fight off the first wave and then just wake up.

The plan was unneeded, and he waited for Sasuke and Naruto the next day.

o.o.o.o.o

The Kyuubi. _The f***ing Kyuubi_. Of all the things that could have happened to it, it got sealed into Naruto.

Sasuke ground his teeth, and his hand, unbeknownst to him, was ripping grass out from the ground at an alarming rate.

Naruto's face was unnaturally blank, and Zoro…

"So, that's it?"

…was unimpressed.

"Whaddaya mean, 'So that's it?'!" Naruto shouted, his mask breaking as he rounded on Zoro.

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Remember the people on my crew? Remember their parentage, former jobs, current jobs, powers? Okay, you're a twelve-year-old brat with a demon in his gut. Get over it."

Sasuke didn't want to think this way, he really didn't, but that probably helped more than anything else could. Zoro was harsh, gruff, and even a little mean sometimes. But when it was important, that lack of tact was exactly what made him know the right thing to say to get someone up off the ground and back on their feet.

After all, he'd already helped Sasuke.

He no longer actively sought revenge, right?

(Though if the opportunity were to present itself…)

(No! Bad Sasuke!)

Well, at least Naruto seemed to be happier with that out of the way.

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: This story is… surprisingly popular. I'm not even all that sure why, but… okay.**

**By the way, the last line of chapter 3 was meant as a joke. I mean, the idea seems popular enough that I'll probably arrange a meeting at some point, but I never actually planned for Gai and Zoro to meet.**

**Ja ne, **

**Phoenix.**


	5. The Secret

**A/N: *flails* Why do you people love this so mu~ch? Go read one of my other stories, they're better than this! This story is a pile of elephant feces compared to my others!**

**On a less confused note, there was a huge time-skip last chapter and I forgot to tell you that you'd be seeing a few flashbacks and a lot of vague references to cover that time. Most of you didn't appear to have realized. To be clear, though:**

**3D2Y/Sabaody started approximately three and a half years before Naruto and Sasuke graduate, which is about seven months ago for Zoro.**

o.o.o.o.o

Zabuza.

Momochi Zabuza.

_Fr***in' _Momochi Zabuza.

…D*** it.

Sasuke hadn't reacted much to Naruto's hand earlier, and neither had Naruto himself. Sakura _had_, but there was a very good reason for that. Sakura hadn't seen someone stabbed like that before, and she hadn't seen so much blood.

Whereas Naruto and Sasuke had already had their Thriller Bark panic attacks over Zoro being unconscious and covered in ridiculous amounts of wounds. Oh, and the Mihawk instance by the restaurant ship. And by the castle island.

Come to think of it, the boys had seen a _lot_ of massive injuries by now.

In any case, they didn't panic during or after the confrontation with the demon brothers.

They didn't panic when Zabu…

Okay, so they panicked a little when Zabuza showed up. Cut them some slack, they were twelve.

At least they had spent years practicing in how to avoid a sword. Maybe not quite a sword that large, but still a sword, and a faster one than Zabuza.

Wait, was Naruto bragging about that? No! They weren't supposed to tell anyone about—!

…Aw, s***. Now Kakashi looked suspicious. Great going, Naruto.

o.o.o.o.o

"Naruto, Sasuke." Kakashi was exhausted and lying on the ground, yes, but he was still and elite Jounin, so the two in question didn't really have much say in listening. Or gulping nervously.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei?" It looked like Naruto was the one answering questions right now. Good, it was his fault this was happening anyway.

"Who taught you how to dodge a sword?" Kakashi's voice was deceptively calm.

"A pirate."

…Oh no. Sasuke knew exactly which ploy Naruto was trying to use, and he doubted that be blunt and tactless would work against Kakashi.

"Naruto, there aren't any pirates in Konoha."

"Yes there is! …He has green hair."

Kakashi and Sakura just stared at Naruto, particularly since Sasuke was doing absolutely nothing to rebuke the blond boy's claims.

"Naruto, pirates live out on the ocean. There isn't an ocean near Konoha."

"He's only ever in the forest when he's asleep."

Sasuke felt like slamming his head against something until he gave himself a concussion. Instead, he just buried his head in his hands.

"And dodging Zabuza was easy. He only had one sword, not three."

Sasuke looked up to see Sakura and Kakashi staring at Naruto like he was a madman.

"Zoro has three. He also has a cool bandanna and a haramaki. The haramaki is kind of for old people, but he doesn't look old." Naruto now sounded thoughtful, as if he was speaking to himself, rather than Kakashi.

"Naruto, this isn't funny."

"He also has three earrings that look pretty cool, instead of girly. And one of his swords is cursed, and another is an heirloom from a friend, and the last is an unbreakable sword that he won from a zombie samurai on a haunted island." Naruto had started rambling. Sasuke wasn't quite sure if it was in an attempt to overdose Kakashi with information or just because Naruto had gotten distracted, but it was working… whether there was a goal to be working towards or not.

"Sasuke-kun? Could you tell us the truth, since Naruto's being—"

"I'll introduce you to him when we get back to Konoha."

o.o.o.o.o

This wasn't possible. How the h*** could the Dobe have managed to distract Zabuza by talking about his sword and then making overcompensation jokes for nearly ten straight minutes? Of course, then Zabuza decided that yes, he really was going to kill the kid, even if the kid knew a lot more about swords than he should have.

Wait, what was that crowd at the end of the bridge behind Zabuza and his apprentice?

…Stalling actually _worked_ this time?

o.o.o.o.o

Zoro looked up as he heard the sound of footsteps coming through the forest.

"Hey, Zoro? Something happened and—ah!" Naruto had just come out of the bracken, and had apparently noticed the new decoration of bandages that Zoro had. "What happened to your eye?"

"I got distracted while fighting Mihawk." Zoro waved it off. "Where's…"

At that point, the rest of Team Seven showed up, and things just got very awkward.

o.o.o.o.o

**A/N: Fight scenes? You're joking, right? Have you **_**seen**_** my fight scenes? They're terrible.**


End file.
